Chronic Pain

Fibromyalgia is a real downer… there’s no doubt there are a lot of things about this condition that can bring a person down. I experience them on a regular basis, and on most occasions, for me, the worst of it hits on the week-end for some crazy reason.

I can be “Debbie Downer” with the best of them, but I created my Twitter account and this blog to try and bring myself up (and those who I hope read this). I want to share my experience and hopefully give folks ideas on how to improve and live better lives. Selfishly, I hope folks give me ideas back so I can continue to learn. This week I thought I’d talk about my experience with yoga.

After dragging my feet for years, Restorative Yoga is really the getting me out of the house. I have been a hermit for months and finally my girlfriends convinced me to try yoga. Restorative Yoga, or I believe it is also referred to as Yin, is extremely gentle. I haven’t been able to get out of bed for months. This Yoga class has 15 minutes of gentle yoga to warm up… I’ll be honest, I generally only do about 50% of this as I can’t handle all of it, but I either modify or just relax during this part. This warm up part is where you do a lot of stretching exercises. I can’t bend over while standing so you can just forget that stuff!

The restorative part is where I am diggin’ this yoga stuff. Lights out, candles lit, soft relaxing music… all of these poses are done on the floor… EXTREMELY gentle. Each pose is held for 5 minutes. This is very relaxing…

I get two mats for the poses where you are on your knees, otherwise I am in pain. For the second mat, I fold it over twice and put it on top of the first mat so I have triple padding. It’s perfect!

I am a pretty anxious person… the first time I went I wasn’t quite sure about the class…. the second time I was starting to like it… now I love it! I look forward to it!! Honestly, this is ME time. Time to just relax and clear my mind for an hour. I don’t have to think about my pain, work, stress, or what words I need to use to finish my sentence! I can finally shut my foggy brain OFF! Woohoo!!

My girlfriends are the best, they go with me… grab your friends and go. I hope you find it as restorative as I do!

What do you do that takes your mind completely off your pain??

I have learned so much in the last 18 months. Things I could have gone a lifetime without learning… and quite frankly been okay. In the last 5 years I have been to the doctor off and on so many times I have lost count. I have felt stupid, crazy, frustrated… but for all of you out there who have gone through this experience, I don’t have to tell you. You already know. You have the F word too… FIBROMYALGIA.

Once you are diagnosed with the F word, you may feel like you are getting closure but it’s really only the beginning of your next F phase… FRUSTRATION. You thought you were getting out of that phase… but NO! At least not me. This, I have found out, is a medical condition that has no cure, no visible signs that you are not well and has not been 100% accepted by the medical field. WONDERFUL. “Welcome to the the F world people, hang on to your seats, this is going to be a rough ride!”

Whenever I see people who know I am not feeling well, I feel like I should look like shit so people will accept that I feel like shit. I should paint all of the places on my body that hurt a bright pink so that it will be obvious. Instead, my lucky ass, gets to be the one who can no longer finish the simplest sentences or remember what I was doing 5 minutes ago or even 5 seconds ago. Noone gets that brain fog has anything to do with the F word, people just think I’m stressed out, exhausted or just stupid. My foggy brain is a world I seem to live in 99% of my life these days… I can remember when I was smart. I can remember the days when I could actually train a room full of adults. Today, I’d have to play charades just to get through my first sentence presenting to a room full of first graders! So now you know my 3rd F word for today… FOGGY.

What I really hate? All the support groups that I went to online thinking there would be good ideas to help me feel better. What I found were too many online support groups with a bunch of sad people talking about how miserable they are… in the end I got horribly depressed. Not to mention all those F’ING (my 4th F word for today) QUACKS trying to sell the miracle drugs that will cure us in 6 weeks or less! Seriously… I’m in pain and in a brain fog… I AM NOT COMPLETELY STUPID!! These people have got to be stopped. I mean seriously… put the money towards research..

So what am I telling all this for? After taking 5 years to get diagnosed… 18 months after being diagnosed to finally get into a treatment program… that is 6 1/2 years of my life. That’s pure craziness! I am ready to take control and help others as well. Blogging seems to be the thing these days. I just wanted a place for me to share my journey with this crazy thing called Fibromyalgia.

This is my first blog and I hope it helps others. I am here to learn, share and network. I hope you share with me as well…

Thank you for reading!