I have a secret. I have been thinking about this a lot in the last couple months. It’s crazy and I’m going to share it with you.

I wished for a dining room in my house. I have one now.

I wished for one of those windows in my kitchen over the sink that you can put flowers and vases and stuff that you want to just keep to show. I have one now.

I stayed in a really nice hotel once that had a big huge shower with a bench and a separate ginormous tub and I wished that I could have one in my bathroom… someday. Someday is now.

I wished that my bathroom would be bigger so my husband and I could have our own sinks. My bathroom is now almost bigger than my bedroom was before.

I wished that we could have a room with a sliding glass door that I could walk outside and look to the sky. I have that now.

I wished for a backyard that I could go outside and work. I have that now.

I wished for a backyard with lots of seating for entertaining and shade where people could sit. I have that now.

I wished that we could live close to my son’s friends. We are there.

I wished for a kitchen nook to sit and eat casually with upgraded kitchen. I have that now.

My kids wished for an upstairs. They have that now.

I wished for my own separate room for paper crafting. I have that now.

I wished for a guest room. I have that now.

I wished for peace and quiet. I have that now.

I wished that we had an  extra bathroom so when guests stayed with us they had their own space. I have that now.

I wished for a bigger back yard for Tani to run around. I have that now.

I clearly remember in all these times thinking, it would be nice to be further away from all the noise and traffic (not that their was a lot of either where we were). While I was quietly thinking about all these things at different times over the course of my lifetime, God was listening to me. He turned all my quiet prayers into reality. He did this in a way that was not necessarily your “dream come true” story, but I do have all those things I thought about. I have it all now. I have all the grounded outlets. I have more grounded outlets in this house than one could possibly imagine! We have power in our backyard, I mean this is crazy – all the possibilities with the things that are in this house we are living in now. We are blessed. We lost our home… we gained my “wish” home without even realizing it.

It is so quiet here. I am getting used to it. I miss my neighbors, it hurts my heart to not have them across the street and next door. The fact is, everything I wanted in a house would never make up for the relationships that you build over the years.

My secret is that God listens to everything. You never know when and what you will receive. At first I felt responsible for what has transpired, but then I know God has a plan for us. From the moment we found this house, I knew there was a higher plan taking place. Under normal circumstances, this is not a house we would ever afford or find. Life could be so much worse.

Already I know we are better for what we have gone through.

I am almost through another winter. This has been a painful one, but I have been able to work from home for the most part. This has helped quite a bit. My meds are working and I haven’t had to make a lot of adjustments to the meds. No migraines for the past month, thankfully. I just take the pain in stride and my mental state seems to help manage my physical pain. The more positive I keep myself, the more I can manage my pain. There is a definite relationship there. I do a lot of self talking and willing that negative shit away. Some days are better than others, but you all know exactly what I mean. Some days we are stronger than others.

I am careful what I am wishing for now. :) I am definitely more focused on the more important things in life, like keeping my son safe and always praying he is making good choices. Praying for my daughter to be aware of her environment and that I can be there for her whenever she needs me and that she will come to me. Nothing like becoming an adult!

Well, I better get back to my Sunday. Thanks for reading!

Stay Cool and please let me know how you are doing.

Tamiko