Today is a day to be thankful. I love this holiday. The food, the company, the weather… everything. This is the time of the year when memories are created and cherished. People who are no longer with us are remembered and friends and family gather together to celebrate what we are thankful for. It’s a season of giving.
I am going to make this holiday season a good one. I am off the meds that were making me crazy and I feel, and I mean I really feeeeeeel much better than I have in years. I am focusing on my mental health. That is a bigger issue for me these days than my pain. Don’t get me wrong… the pain is always there – but I struggle a lot more with the depression and anxiety these days. This time of the year is always challenging, as I’m sure many of you can agree. I really try to work on my mental health, it is a minute by minute task. Each minute of every hour of every day, I have to work on managing my mind. It’s exhausting, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it. I know with stress and frustration or any of those negative feelings/thoughts comes the pain… with pain comes the negative thoughts, frustration and stress… it’s cyclical. It all starts and finishes with me maintaining a healthy mind.
I have to accept that there is and will always be physical pain. I just can’t allow it to manage my life. I am good at getting frustrated and pissed off when I’m in pain… it just doesn’t help. Yeah pain sucks, no question… but that kind of thinking just tanks me. My depression eats that shit up and will take me and throw me into a downward spiral that I have to battle. I refuse to go there.
I get up every morning and go to bed every night reminding myself what I am thankful for. This keeps me going and works against those damn negative thoughts. Which brings me back to today. Today is a day to really be mindful of what we are thankful for.
I am so very thankful for all the blessings in my life. I have the best family and friends a girl could ask for! My husband and I have an awesome extended family and we are blessed to have such a great support network. The friends we have are a part of our family, I know no matter what – we are there for each other and we treasure everyone in our lives.
It’s been one year since we have lived in this house. It’s “home” to us now and we are looking forward, not backwards. It’s taken a long time to get to this point, but here we are. I still look around and appreciate how God works and I am amazed.
I may complain about my job, but I have one. This job allows me to work from home with flexible hours and most importantly, I have balance. I have balance for the first time… maybe ever.
My children… oh those beautiful kids. They are growing up… and way too fast! The one characteristic about them, that absolutely keeps me going is the smile and laughter they bring in my life. My daughter entertained me last night for hours, I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. She is, as she puts it “jennifer jamazing”! My son walked in the door, coming home from college for the holidays and I just wanted to cry. He is the smartest person I know (which makes it flippin’ difficult and impossible to argue with him! :), but the level of knowledge, and his thirst for knowledge is awesome.
I am thankful. This life I have is more than pain and depression, it’s full of love and life.
I hope on this Thanksgiving day, you are able to get beyond your pain and relax and enjoy life. Don’t overdo it, just keep it simple and remember it’s the relationships that you most treasure, that’s the priority today.
Thanks for reading!