I am thankful…

Today is a day to be thankful. I love this holiday. The food, the company, the weather… everything. This is the time of the year when memories are created and cherished. People who are no longer with us are remembered and friends and family gather together to celebrate what we are thankful for. It’s a season of giving.

I am going to make this holiday season a good one. I am off the meds that were making me crazy and I feel, and I mean I really feeeeeeel much better than I have in years. I am focusing on my mental health. That is a bigger issue for me these days than my pain. Don’t get me wrong… the pain is always there – but I struggle a lot more with the depression and anxiety these days. This time of the year is always challenging, as I’m sure many of you can agree. I really try to work on my mental health, it is a minute by minute task. Each minute of every hour of every day, I have to work on managing my mind. It’s exhausting, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it. I know with stress and frustration or any of those negative feelings/thoughts comes the pain… with pain comes the negative thoughts, frustration and stress… it’s cyclical. It all starts and finishes with me maintaining a healthy mind.

I have to accept that there is and will always be physical pain. I just can’t allow it to manage my life. I am good at getting frustrated and pissed off when I’m in pain… it just doesn’t help. Yeah pain sucks, no question… but that kind of thinking just tanks me. My depression eats that shit up and will take me and throw me into a downward spiral that I have to battle. I refuse to go there.

I get up every morning and go to bed every night reminding myself what I am thankful for. This keeps me going and works against those damn negative thoughts. Which brings me back to today. Today is a day to really be mindful of what we are thankful for.

I am so very thankful for all the blessings in my life. I have the best family and friends a girl could ask for! My husband and I have an awesome extended family and we are blessed to have such a great support network. The friends we have are a part of our family, I know no matter what – we are there for each other and we treasure everyone in our lives.

It’s been one year since we have lived in this house. It’s “home” to us now and we are looking forward, not backwards. It’s taken a long time to get to this point, but here we are. I still look around and appreciate how God works and I am amazed.

I may complain about my job, but I have one. This job allows me to work from home with flexible hours and most importantly, I have balance. I have balance for the first time… maybe ever.

My children… oh those beautiful kids. They are growing up… and way too fast! The one characteristic about them, that absolutely keeps me going is the smile and laughter they bring in my life. My daughter entertained me last night for hours, I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. She is, as she puts it “jennifer jamazing”! My son walked in the door, coming home from college for the holidays and I just wanted to cry. He is the smartest person I know (which makes it flippin’ difficult and impossible to argue with him! :), but the level of knowledge, and his thirst for knowledge is awesome.

I am thankful. This life I have is more than pain and depression, it’s full of love and life.

I hope on this Thanksgiving day, you are able to get beyond your pain and relax and enjoy life. Don’t overdo it, just keep it simple and remember it’s the relationships that you most treasure, that’s the priority today.

Thanks for reading!

God bless.

Tamiko

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7 thoughts on “I am thankful…

  1. I love your blog : )
    I have tried to write one about my experiences with FM/CFS as well, but it just sits there in cyber space without an audience.

    I’m curious as to what meds you have discarded….I have them and hate them too, and I, like you, believe that we are much better off without these mood-altering, personality-screwing chemicals. That being said, however, I’m still on some of them, and I also have come to the conclusion that we can use our minds to overcome the pain we are feeling/experiencing.

    I started running (yeah, that sounds bizarre) last spring. It helps me so much, in that it lifts my mood, distracts me from pain, helps me to meditate and sort my thoughts, and oh yes, to keep me in shape! My husband and I run in 5K events at least once a month: gives me focus, a goal to strive for, direction, and then when it’s over I can hang on to that sense of accomplishment until the next run. I love it.

    Keep writing; I’ll keep reading.

    • Hi Becky –

      Thank you so much for your comments. I apologize for the delay in responding. You are amazing and an inspiration to run the distances you do! I wish that I was a runner, it always seems to bring people a feeling of calm and clear mind. Movement with our illness, syndrome, condition – however you want to call it, is so important. I am not very disciplined about it, but I know if/when I do it, I feel better.

      As far as the meds, I was on Cymbalta, Topamax, Wellbutrin, Omneprozale (for the side affects from the meds) and one to help me sleep. The ones that were the real issues for me were Cymbalta and Topamax, I went through serious withdrawals coming off – but while I was on I had more pain, difficulty sleeping and I got suicidal. I would never have known it was the drugs until I got off them and felt so much better. I feel human again. I am on anti-depressants again as I really struggle with my mental health. I am not anti-meds, I just want people to know my experience in case they are having the same issues.

      It is so nice to hear that my words are encouraging and you are reading. Please keep commenting, it is great to hear from people.

      Happy holidays!
      Tamiko

  2. What a wonderful blog! Loved the positivity! I tried to push past the pain, sat when I needed to, bowed out of dishes…thankfully the whole shin dig was hosted at my sons house and he has a dishwasher…not to mention a live in gf who is a great cook and doesn’t mind the clean up…don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a couch slug…I helped clean up, put leftovers away, packed doggy bags, etc. lol. But it was a great day…with my 92 y/o grandmother, whom I love with all my heart, my grandpa, my mom and dad, son, his gf, her 2 boys who are basically my grandsons ages 4 and 7..love em to pieces…sleepin next to me right this minute! They love their MeeMaw Tammy! I’m hurting…but my heart is full of love and thankfullness for all my blessings. Thanks for sharing your wonderful day! xo
    T

    • Hi there!

      So great to hear from you again. I really love to hear from folks and how they are dealing with their lives day to day. I’m so glad you had a good Thanksgiving. I would never believe any of us as couch slugs. Just getting up and taking a shower some days is more than we can handle. :) Your day sounded like a blessing and I wish you many more of those!

      With Christmas upon us, we need to stay positive and keep it all in perspective and remember the reason for the season.

      Big gentle hug!
      Tamiko

  3. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and what a great post to read today. Keep your chin up and your thoughts positive. It sure makes a difference in the pain. Peace and Love to you and yours.

    • Hi there!!

      I always love to hear from you, I haven’t been blogging much (writing or reading). I find it so difficult these days to keep up with social media. I love and appreciate that you keep coming back to read my posts.

      Stay amazing and have a great Christmas!
      Hugs!
      Tamiko

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