Sooooo… first things first – I went for big changes today. I changed the theme of my blog. I haven’t done this for quite awhile now, but I decided I wanted to add some color to my life and thought I’d start with my blog first. Also, I added along the side of the page a new widget to provide book recommendations using Goodreads (http://www.goodreads.com/). Looks to be a pretty cool app to use.

I’m trying to do better about updating my blog to share tools and resources for folks, I am working on it. I have a list of stuff I want to add/ revise. Little changes here and there every few days (depending on my energy).

I have been off work for three weeks participating in this pain program at Kaiser. Let me tell you… this is no easy task. I have been just as tired, if not more, than when I was working full-time and trying to get through the day. The anemia isn’t helping (it’s my mortal enemy these days). I want… I am almost determined to get to a quality life. I say “almost” because I know it’s a lot of work and some days I just don’t feel so up to it. I want to be more determined than anything to get my health in order, but I am so flippin’ tired it’s hard to even get the energy for the “determination” itself.

This anemia is kickin’ my ass… the iron pills are making me sick which is exacerbating (big word) the pain, digestion and mental health issues I already face on a daily basis. I often wonder what the hell I am doing. “Here, take these pills, they will make you feel better. You will have a lot more energy once they kick in!” Seriously. I listened and I am following instructions, but feeling twice as bad does not seem like a solution to me. Ugh… think positive, think positive, think positive.

This cartoon really hits home for me (and I’m sure a lot of you). I take the iron pills which then leads to taking an anti-nausea pill which then leads to really wanting caffeine (although I don’t do it) for the extreme exhaustion from the anti-nausea pill. I really lived in this world when I was taking all the pain medication before. Thankfully I stopped all that madness. I know meds work for a lot of people, it just wasn’t working for me.

I know I had something in mind to focus on when I started this posting… I just cannot remember what it is… All I can do at this point is smile about this constant forgetfulness. Well I could cry, scream and shout but that wouldn’t do any good, now would it! So… I think I’ll say have a great Sunday and go rest for a bit.

Stay cool!