I have started and stopped this blog at least fifteen times now. I have deleted four or five blogs completely, for this blog you are reading now I have erased sentences, paragraphs and entire pages before getting to the point of actually posting this one. I’m not sure what my problem is, I just have not been feeling the writing mojo in 2010… until now.
I cannot believe it is 2010… two-thousand-ten or twenty-ten or two-thousand AND ten or however the heck you want to say it! First, let’s get the awkwardness out of the way… YES I changed my look on my blog! Whew! I am one of those people that has to change things. I move the furniture (in the middle of the night I might add), I want to change the paint colors on the walls, I change my desk around, I always want something different! here again, easily distracted… now you know why! I love the feel of “brand new”. I thought, “new year” => “new look” to my blog. now that that is out of the way! Oh and before I forget… I also think I better start using my capital letters the right way. I am going to work for a “new” company soon, so I better think of it as a “new” job. I should start getting used to typing better in case I really really have to get a “NEW” job if you get my drift!!
So! There is a lot of newness going on in 2010. To be honest with you, and I feel I can be honest since you are all my virtual friends and family, I don’t like change. I like tradition. I like “brand new” added to tradition. I. don’t. like. change. Funny, I always thought I liked change, but now I realize I like “brand new” which is not the same thing as “change”. I will say this. I adapt well and I can be pretty darn flexible. I just fear the unknown. I said it. I don’t like change. I can move on now. It will take awhile to accept that, but at least I know.
I am still working on what I want my goals to be for 2010. The last couple years, in fact, the last three to five years have been tough ones for me. I have lost many loved ones and my health has not been great (understatement). I know one of the areas I really want to work on is just living above all the sadness and really getting into life and making 2010 all about living life at the fullest! I haven’t gardened in years, I haven’t done things just to have fun in a long time. I want to laugh and have fun and remember those people that have passed on in a fun/ loving way and be done being sad. I want to enjoy scrapbooking again. I want to enjoy working and enjoy living. I want to learn how to “LIVE” again. I don’t want fibromyalgia to take over my life. I don’t want chronic depression or any other medical condition to rule how I live. I understand this will not be easy, but I will take one day at a time and know that there will be days when things won’t go so good and on those days… doing something fun will be the most important part of my day!!
It’s interesting, in my Level II Chronic Pain program this past week, one of the homework assignments we received was to do something we enjoy every day… one of the people in the class said “everyday?” as she read the list that was provided as an example… we just seem to forget what it’s like to enjoy life when we are in pain.
Can you do something everyday that you enjoy? It can be something as simple as having coffee in the morning while you read the morning paper or playing games on facebook or something that requires more energy like going for a walk or seeing a movie… whatever you want! This is all about Y-O-U!
I have my homework that I’d like to make a habit instead of just homework… that’s my challenge to you!
Thanks for reading. Stay cool!
Great blog! Don’t stop!
Wow… someone else is just like me out there! Seriously… I enjoyed this blog. I can relate to the sparatic and just trying to get it out before moving on to the next.
I found you via twitter… Being recently diagnosed and way too young (in my opinion) I am on a quest to realize it’s not just me in this pain bubble that effects everything I do.
Learning to live with it and to manage it has been a battle, but I am happy that I at least know what it is… Do something I enjoy everyday? Okay, it’s on…
Thanks for sharing.
I love that you you connected via Twitter and left your comment! Thank you so much! You are definitely not the only one, there are many of us out there. The best thing you did was get on Twitter and read the blogs… it helped me tremendously (as long as you aren’t reading all the whiny, complaining, i hate my life ones!)
Tell me what you’ve been doing… it’s always great to hear what others are doing to keep going… my latest thing? I’m back on the scrapbooking/ card making obsession… :)
Great Post! It is so true that when you have a chronic condition, you tend to focus on it – on controlling the pain, catering to the pain, working your schedule around the pain! We forget about ourselves and about the things we want. What a great exercise to do something for YOURSELF everyday – not for the pain. I think I will be more mindful about what I want and the simple things that make me happy on a daily basis.
Thanks for sharing your “homework”! Oh, and I love your new blog design! You have got me thinking I might re-design mine as well….
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