The View From My Room

I can’t believe it… it’s really been since May that I wrote my last post. Hmmmm…. Well, there goes another goal for the year that I’ll miss! Although I must say, I actually have a good reason behind all this. Since my last post it’s been non-stop crazy… whether we are getting ready for graduation or preparing for college, this weekend is the first time I really feel like I have been able to sit back and relax.

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View from her dorm room!

Where has the time gone? First we had high school graduation and all the stuff that goes along with it. Except this time, with my new found sewing skills… I decided to make laundry bags and book bags and towel wraps for Kiyomi and her friends for college. It was a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong – but also a lot of work with defined dates everything had to be done by! The best part of all this was the time spent with friends while sewing. It was a learning experience, but one filled with laughter, great conversation and, of course, good food! The end result was I learned a lot and had some nice hand made gifts for some wonderful kids.

The college preparation experience entailed finding the perfect comfortor set (which took many, many weeks), the rain boots we promised her if she decided to go to Eugene… and all sorts of required dorm decorations, clothes, etc. We atttended orientation… or IntroDucktion as they call it at the University of Oregon… a great experience, but really brought home how much closer we were getting to her leaving… and then over the summer as her friends were leaving (or preparing for leaving) for school – each day and night became “the last XXX…” get together. So we saw her less than any other time of her life. I think I started missing her  the day she graduated.

img_6043All this to get to this weekend. We drove up on Tuesday and moved her into her dorm room on Wednesday. The move-in process was more work than I thought it would be… it wasn’t bad, just took a lot out of me. Times like this always remind me of all the crap I have. The pain, the digestive issues, the mental bullshit… it all just hits me at once. I go into these events thinking… “I got this!!” and halfway through my pain starts rearing its ugly head. I told my husband my body was basically saying, “what the hell do you think YOU’RE doing??”… and then proceeded to remind me whose boss – and apparently it’s not my desire to get shit done that’s boss. Although I did fight it for many hours before finally giving in.

We had lunch on Thursday, she jumped out of the car and Ray and I drove over to the coast. We are staying in the most awesome hotel (the Fireside Motel in Yachats). We have an oceanfront room (something we have never done before) and have just stayed in the room all day watching the waves or listening to the waves while we read/ write. It’s a little slice of heaven. I had no idea how exhausted I was until we got here and sat down to watch the sunset. We had all these plans to sightsee… and then… we both decided to just do nothing. We have gone out for some yummy dinners – but stayed in our room and just had snacks during the day. I am having the time of my life!

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View from our room!

What have I learned? Okay i didn’t “learn” this… I was reminded (very loudly) to listen to my body. In times like this, how about if I don’t self sabotage and eat all bad shit… treat my body with respect. I feel like I was on a mission to spiral down in anticipation of letting Kiyomi go. Stupid.

It’s a privilege to be healthy enough to travel to this place. We drove up to our room and walked the 15 feet from the car through our room to the outside deck. The first thought that came to mind was… “This place is perfect for my mom!!”, but she isn’t feeling well enough to travel like this anymore. I need to be on a mission to feel good! I’m on my way… this place we are staying at, the sound of the ocean, surrounded by this beauty – it’s time to move to the next phase in our lives. Healthy is a good place to be and it’s my new goal!! I should go for a walk on the beach now… hmmmmm… maybe in an hour. One step at a time. :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Tamiko

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