foggy brain

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Your Feedback Please… My Latest Wellness Journal for Chronic Pain

I only have so much brain power. I mean, as much as I’d like to multi-task, learn something new every day, solve problems of all sorts… I only have so much brain power. So how am I using it these days? I’ve been spending a lot of time creating a Wellness journal of sorts. It all started when I was participating in the Pain Program at Kaiser. I needed something to help me transition from this program to the real world where there was only me. Only me to hold myself accountable, not a support group every day or the doctors I don’t want to let down… just me. I have to continue on this path to a quality life by doing daily exercises, working on my diet, managing my stress with meditation and relaxation exercises… practicing everything I have learned! Just thinking about it doesn’t work for me. Writing down what I have done enables me to hold myself accountable AND celebrate my successes.

So… I created this document to hold myself accountable. It’s similar to the pain journals I have created and posted in my Tools and Resources page. There are many differences though, for one it’s not just a daily journal, it’s also a tool to help me figure out what areas of my health/ life I need to address that are out of balance. I created worksheets to identify my short and long-term health goals, my plan for what to do when I’m in a flare… I included a Quick Reference sheet with exercises that I use on a daily basis. It’s a work in progress. Here’s the break down of what I have included in the set so far:

  1. Wellness Wheel: tool used to help you discover opportunities for an improved quality of life and create goals based on those areas.
  2. Wellness Plan: worksheet for documenting your short and long-­‐term health goals and listing up to four key goals in the areas that you want to work on that will help you achieve your overall short and long-­‐term goals.
  3. Flare Plan: worksheet for documenting the tools that help you, both physically and mentally, when you are in a flare. It helps to document these so you can just flip to this page and use the tools that you know will help you.
  4. Exercise Quick Reference Sheet: there are countless exercises you can do to help with your pain, these are just some of the stretches and strengthening exercises I use on a daily basis.
  5. Daily Wellness Journal: worksheet for you to document each day; your exercise, food, pain level and how you addressed your pain, what you are grateful for that day and memorable moments/ accomplishments.
  6. My Priorities for Today…: worksheet to document your personal and work priorities on a daily basis.
  7. Automatic Thoughts Worksheet: template to help you manage your stress and negative thoughts.

So far, with a much older draft, the Kaiser folks have been encouraging me to publish this Wellness Journal. It’s a little intimidating. But it got me thinking. I want to keep working on this. I want to create something that anyone with chronic pain or any type of health issue can use to improve the quality of their life.

I’m excited about this. I’d love to get feedback on what I have created so far. If you are interested in helping me by reviewing, testing and giving me your honest feedback – I’d love it!

Shoot me an email or leave a comment here and I’ll get in touch with you right away.

Thank you!

Tamiko

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This is AMAZING! 21 Best Fibromyalgia Blogs of 2012…

I am sitting here having a pretty down day… not feeling great. I decided to check out the stats for my blog and the most amazing thing happened. I looked at one of the referring sites and followed the link and yelled out “HOLY SHIT!”. My husband thought something really bad happened, turns around and asks me what’s wrong (with that concerned look on his face)…

I am smiling as wide as ever… a bit speechless. I said to him “I can’t believe this!” Then I held up my laptop and showed him this screen:

Completely unexpected, this made my day… wait! What am I saying, it made my week!!

Thank you Healthline for the recognition. I may just have this smile on my face for the rest of the day…

You all have a GREAT week-end!

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Practicing What I Have Learned… Pain Management

I have had a lot of training about managing my life with pain over the last couple years. It’s not the learning that is the issue. The issue for me is the implementation. The challenge to change. The challenge to accept.

Instead of getting up and out of bed and going straight to my laptop to start working for the day, I need to make a change. I need to wake up and… with intention, get out of bed and do some gentle movement, read the bible and make time for prayer and meditation, eat some breakfast and take my meds… and then, and only then start working. I know this. Actually practicing this is my challenge. It all sounds great, but even writing it makes me anxious. When I get up in the morning, I am already anxious. Anxious to start my day. Just this morning, I woke up and really made myself do some Qigong. But I was anxious, I couldn’t get myself to get into a calm state and after a couple of minutes I gave up. The entire time from when I woke up to when I sat at my laptop, all I could think about was what I wanted to get done this morning. How do I get to that point where the motivation to change is greater than the anxiety?

I am taking this class at Kaiser and I am reading books and I am working on my deep breathing and some (not all) of my exercises… but at the end of the day I am afraid. I am off work for six weeks and you would think I would be afraid about going back to work. It’s not so much the going back to work that scares me as much as it is the going back to life. I am afraid that this is it. I have these expectations that at the end of these six weeks I will be changed and living a quality life. My fear is that, after these six weeks,  my life will still be “just getting through the day”. I want to live my life, not just get through the day.

I realized this week that the problem is… me. I do not say those words with ease. I mean, seriously, I am not a complete idiot (most of the time). I did and do know that I have to make changes to actually see change or in my case FEEL change… but I am talking about putting in daily practice what I have learned… what I know I know… it’s some hard work. To admit that I am the only thing holding me back… well… it sucks. I might have had this epiphany before. The great thing about not having a memory most of the time… is, well, not having a memory. I realized as I decided to get organized last night with all my paperwork from my classes at Kaiser from 2010 and today – shit! I have learned this before. That kept coming up in my mind over and over again as I was going through my stuff. I am not quite sure why I was so surprised… maybe frustrated and a little irritated with myself are better words than surprised.

So! What am I going to do about it? Well…

  1. Breathe
  2. Put together my Wellness Plan (what I will do on a daily basis)
  3. Breathe
  4. Make an agreement with myself how I will implement this Wellness Plan. Let’s be realistic, it’s been so overwhelming for so long, let’s (let’s?? I mean to say I will) take this in smaller steps so I can be somewhat successful.
  5. Breathe
  6. Take the first step…

Last night I also spent time revising my blog to incorporate more information in my Tools & Resources page as well as the page I recently added, Bay Area Resources. This also reminded me how much I need to incorporate practicing the tools I have learned over the years.

I will be patient with myself. It’s not going to be easy. I love the quick wins. Now it’s time for the long-term thinking and, Lord have mercy… practicing, practicing, practicing!

I can do this (repeat. repeat. repeat.). Seriously, I can do this. I will prove it to myself. I am the only one who matters in this instance as no one else can do this for me.

Thanks for listening and appreciate any thoughts you have from your own experiences.

Stay cool!

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Thank you! HAWMC’S Most Riveting… Wow!

I woke up this morning and checked my blog and wow! I have hit 11,000 hits… this is so incredibly amazing to me. I would never in my wildest dreams imagine that people would read my blog, much less have 11,000 visits.

THANK YOU!

Just as incredibly cool to me, yesterday I received an email from Amanda Dolan, Editor at WEGO Health. I was awarded a Superlative Badge for the Most Riveting post in the 30 day writing challenge last month. I am proudly showing it off (on the side of my blog as well :) ! If you click on the badge you will see the rest of the winners.

Awesome day… surrounded by the most cool and awesome people on the internet! Thank you for the motivation and inspiration.

Stay super cool!

Tamiko

Here’s the posting that received the award for Most Riveting:

Day 2: Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most…

For more information on WEGO Health, check out any of the following:

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Waiting… and Waiting…

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. This is what I am doing this week. I was the lucky recipient of the “oscopy” twins, one up and one down… on Tuesday… seems like  a long time ago, yet it was just yesterday (for me, I’m still up as you can see at almost 2am). The waiting before going in for the procedure was not fun. After drinking that yummy liquid, I thought I was doing alright when BAM! Nausea along with a nice little migraine followed by the chills hit me like a mack truck. I wasn’t able to finish all that stuff. It was lights out and pray for sleep. Thankfully when the nurse asked me “So, did you drink all the Gavilyte?”, I promptly answered with “Yes” and there were no issues as a result of my giving up on the strict instructions.The actual procedure was a dream, with IV in my arm and drugs streaming down the line… I was out. I woke up, got dressed and went home… I honestly cannot remember most of that day. All I know is I am thankful that I didn’t wake up during the procedure!

So, now I’m back to waiting. Waiting for the results of my stomach and polyp biopsies. I am going to stick with the assumption that everything is all good to go. Although at the same time I’d like to hear “Well, you have XYZ, which explains all the problems you are having with all the rumbling and tumbling in your tummy as well as the anemia.” I don’t have high expectations that there will be answers, it seems there rarely are… oh, other than “Well it’s part and parcel with Fibromyalgia… or Depression…” On those days, when I walk out of the doctor’s office, I mostly feel deflated and question my wisdom with going to the doctor in the first damn place. This last round has been fruitful, in that I know I have anemia which is a good reason for my exhaustion of late. What I don’t know is where the blood is going or why this damn flare is going on… and on… and ON.

Oh these are fun times, right? I am working as hard as I can at work and still feel like I should be doing better. It’s tough when you know you used to be so … well … good at your job. Yes, I used to be good at my job. I just can’t remember when that was. I believe it was about 3 or 4 years ago. I’m not sure. I know I have had bursts of goodness, but those are definitely few and far between.

ANYWAY! Here I am. Waiting.

Tomorrow’s going to be the day that I get my results back.

I hope.

Stay cool!

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Day 30: My Word Tree…

Today’s Prompt: Word Cloud. Make a word cloud or tree with a list of words that come to mind when you think about your blog, health, or interests.

Today is the last day of the WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. I did it! As the final post, I have created this tree in answer to the prompt… enjoy!