i have faith. i will overcome this disability!

I am disabled.

Wow.

I am a proud owner of a handicap placard.

Woot! Woot!

Is that how I am supposed to feel?

Yeah! I get preferred parking now when I go shopping! Hell yeah!

Let me tell you how it really goes down…

In the morning when I get up

this is how i feel…..

i wake up and

i feel tired and

in pain and

i slowly get out of bed after about 30 minutes (if i’m lucky) and

i get my laptop so i can work and

i sit down on my bed and

i start my work day and

my beautiful husband brings me coffee and toast and

i take my medication and

i drink my coffee and

i eat my toast and

by noon i am exhausted. i am already exhausted!!!

my brain can hardly focus and

i’m pretty damn frustrated because i know that it wasn’t that long ago that i was damn good at my job and seriously?

this fibro fog sucks!

i attempt to eat lunch, which these days ends up being my one real meal of the day after my toast and

then i attempt to work again and

i end up playing facebook games and

twittering and

now it’s dinner time and

i sit with the family and

i’m not hungry so we talk about our day and

after i go back to bed and

i attempt one more time to work and

again fibro fog and

again facebook games and

again twitter and

now it’s time for my night time meds and

i can’t sleep so i write my blog and

at the end of the day

this is

what i know for sure

regardless of anything else

i am blessed. i. am. blessed.

i am alive and

for today, i am able to work and

i have my family and friends to support me and

who believe in me and

i have faith.

i have faith that i will get better.

i will make myself a better person and

i will do my physical therapy and

i will eat healthy food and

i will educate people on fibromyalgia and

i will take my medication and

i will overcome this disability!

what else do i know?

if i can do this?

anyone can!

having the preferred parking ain’t what it’s cracked up to be… i’d rather walk the extra distance.

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3 thoughts on “i have faith. i will overcome this disability!

  1. I empathize completely. Not sure if you’re luckier than me for not having to actually commute to work. Sometimes making the effort to get out and get to work helps alleviate some of the pain. The fog usually hits me around 11 and lasts until about 2. Sometimes I just give in and go to sleep at my desk looking all the world like I’m studying a really interesting contract. ;-) My frikkin’ legs hurt all the time and feel like I’ve run a marathon 24 hours a day and right in the middle of a good laugh with co-workers, the muscle spasms will hit. And once one muscle spasms, they all get in on the party.
    So I understand where you’re at and what you endure. I plan to follow your blog now that I found through The Bloggess comments section (ain’t she a hoot? Just luv luv luv her!). Maybe reading your writings will help me feel less alone.
    In peace and love

  2. I have faith in you. I suffer from ra and it’s devastating at times but it does get better. There are so many mess and treatments today. When my great grandmother had this she was in a wheelchair and died young. Today we have so much more. Keep believing in yourself. You will beat this. You’ve already come further than you think.

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