i have been feeling really good the last six days. six days of relatively average, level 4-5 pain days. thanksgiving day was the first day i felt really good. friday i spent the day scrapbooking and i felt really good. saturday was up and down… sunday was just okay, i had some serious foot problems but thankfully my husband was home to help me through it. monday is usually the day that all hell breaks loose in my body so i was pretty worried…. i waited and waited and let me tell you. i made it! it was a good day. in fact, it was a really good day, all things considered. i had a clear head yesterday and my pain level was about a 5. i have not had a day with a pain level below 7 in many months. did you read that?? i said months! and a clear head? it felt like i went to the store and exchanged myself for someone new! what the hell is going on?

do i call this great thing a “flare down“??

today… well today was a big day for me. for all you fibromites out there, you can relate to this… i took a shower this morning and i still had energy after. i had to slow it down a bit (i got a little too happy and forgot that i actually HAD fibromyalgia for a second and completely overdid it) but i kept going. i got in my car and drove for the first time in many, many months. i drove up to the san francisco airport to pick up my boss and back down to santa clara for a meeting… i was in the office all afternoon and then out for dinner with the staff. this was a big deal for me. i have not been this active and driving since… well i honestly can’t remember! even better, i had a clear head all day… again!  again i say… what the hell is going on?

do i call this great thing a “flare down“??

at about 8:15 tonight while sitting at the dinner table… i started to feel the nudges and the tension and the bruised feeling and i thought to myself… “go away!… i am feeling good! i am feeling good!… noooooooooooooo!!… not fair!!!!!!!!!!” but i can feel the pain coming. so, i quickly decided to call it a night and come home.

now that i’m home, i can feel my elbows and knees tightening up and hurting and i’m getting pissed off. i need to do some self talk. i can feel my fingers starting to hurt as i type, my head is hurting and all i can think is “eff this shit! i am going to feel good when i get up tomorrow! nothing can stop me!”.

so did i have a “flare down”?? did i have six great average level 4-5 pain days for no reason at all?? well when i think about it … all the nights were pretty painful, the meds helped me sleep through it. i wake up and go back to sleep because of the meds… so… i’m going to think like this for right now:

• i am having some really great days right now.
• my nights are painful, but my meds are doing the job and helping me get some rest and when i wake up i go back to sleep so, for now, my insomnia is under control. this is great news!!
• i probably overdid it today which is why i’m experiencing pain right now.
• tomorrow is going to be a great day.
• i may not be where i want to be… but thank God i’m not where i used to be!
• i have the courage to change what i can and i will accept what i cannot… it is what it is…

my formula for getting here to my “great days”:

• a whole lot of prayer
• listening to my teachings by joyce meyer and pastor paul
• my physical therapy and following through with it at home
• a whole lot of prayer
• the support from my family and friends
• the support from the fibro social networking community
• a whole lot of prayer

if  i can do this… so can you!

what do you think? “flare down”?? fluke??

thanks for reading! stay cool!