If you all go back into your memories and think about how you were raised, the moments that stick out into your mind… what do you remember that relates to your health today? What should you remember? What is that you want to communicate to your children that they may want to keep in mind as they grow older?
I went to lunch with my folks yesterday and one comment the manager of the restaurant said stuck in my mind… he said something like “I like how you two sport the matching canes!” From that comment, this post was born…
I remember, when my mom was my age, she certainly was not using a cane. She was in much better shape than I. When my grandmother was my mother’s age now, she certainly was not using a cane, she was in much better shape than my mother. It amazes me how the health of the three of us have deteriorated between the three generations. My grandmother was in really good shape until her 90’s. I don’t see that for myself. How is it that my grandmother lived to her late 90’s and both of my aunt’s have passed away already? They were not even into their 80’s! As I look into the past, this is what I remember…
- In my childhood years, my mother used to do all the cooking and cleaning, driving us around, in addition to all that, she was also very active in a non-profit group with my father.
- In my high school years, I remember my mom working and running errands and helping us do whatever needed to get done… her life had to be frustrating dealing with 2 teenagers in the house! She was working at a medical clinic and still doing the cooking and cleaning. I was not paying much attention, I was a selfish teenager just paying attention to myself. I can somewhat appreciate my son’s attitude as he graduates from high school this year. I was a bit more oblivious than he is!
- After I moved out, I noticed my mom took a lot more naps in the afternoon and tired a lot easier. It’s hard to work, take care of a house, and cook. I think she stopped cooking as much as her lack of energy didn’t allow her to do it all. Completely understandable.
- As I started having children, my mom’s health really started to decline. She had to stop driving and her eyesight was not as good as it used to be so she was not able to enjoy the hobbies she once used to love. Now quality of life was so different that it once was. I can definitely relate to this.
I know through all of these years, there was a hysterectomy, hypoglycemia, diabetes, kidney transplant, plus a lot of stuff going on with her eyes… all the while my dad has had his own medical issues to deal with.
When I think about all this, I sit back and want to tatoo this on my children.
- Exercise, exercise, exercise!!!
- Please, eat a balanced diet… don’t go crazy, just eat good foods!!!
- GET EDUCATED!
- Never be too proud!!!
- Have fun, tomorrow is not promised, don’t take life or people too seriously!!!
Honestly, there have been many moments in my life where I have let things get to me and bring me down for WAYYYYY to long. I mean, really… REALLY? Was it worth it? HELL NO! Let’s be serious. I wasted that time just being angry. So as I said… wasted time! Stop wasting time being angry and get over it!
I have definitely wasted moments in my life not getting educated vs. getting an education. That may sound strange, but instead of actively learning I would honestly sit in class and just not pay attention. If you have the opportunity to learn – pay attention and get educated!! I just had a really hard time, I believe I was depressed and I let myself fall further and further behind and never raised my hand up and said I needed help. I was too proud. Never be too proud. Especially if you have chronic pain. That is one thing I have learned in so many ways… over and over and over and over again!
Moral of the story? The time you have is valuable, use it wisely.
- Live, love and laugh!
- Don’t be too proud to ask for help so you can use your energy to have fun vs. washing the dishes or cleaning the house.
- Get educated, we are the best advocates for chronic pain and fibromyalgia, let’s keep pushing the knowledge out there!
Does this make any sense? Let me know.
Thanks for stopping by my foggy brain blog. It’s been one hell of a painful week. I end this vacation wishing I had another week off, but accepting I don’t. Thanks for all the support!
Big HUGE thanks to Teia Hassey for my Sugar Doll award, that has totally made my vacation week!! Everyone check out her blog, it’s awesome!
Just Breathe – Life changing experiences with tibial torsion, ovarian cancer,vertigo,tinnitus,and Fibromyalgia. My quest for happiness.
Great post! I just had to make sure you realized I liked reading this.
I love the point you brought up about “not being too proud to ask for help.” and the concept of “using up your energy.” I think that, even though you were attaching them as a connected thought, that both of these ideas are truly important on their own as well.
I think that, especially being gifted with the syndrome of FIBRO, it is very astute that you should realize that we Fibromites have a limited stash of energy, and if it’s used up doing something that we could otherwise delegate, it’s a total pain in the ass (LITERALLY) to replenish the stockpiles.
I think this energy sink works in an emotional way for us too. For instance, let’s imagine that each day we’re given a dollar of energy. If take 50 cents away worrying about what or whom we are resenting or haven’t yet forgiven from years ago. We’re down to only 50 cents of operating power. Then if we take 10 cents being angry at ourselves for being overweight and 10 more cents for having Fibro, we’re down to 30% now. Uh huh now that annoying relative calls and since we haven’t set up boundaries they sucked 15 cents out of us. Yuck! We only have 15 cents of energy to deal with the rest of day! Now, we wonder why we’re soooooo tired!!!!???
I have to say I think about this a lot and try hard to change my negative thinking patterns. It’s really hard to do. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. It helps having positive leaders like you and your blog to turn to.:) Which brings me to my second point about letting people help and how this is not a failure but a sign of strength.
Someone once told me, and I’ll never forget this, that “True strength is knowing when you need to be weak.” It takes a lot of guts to say, “you know what, I can’t do this– will you help me please?” That’s a smart, tough person. And in terms of managing and learning how to pace yourself with Fibro, it only make reasonable and efficient sense.
Kudos to you, for wanting to imprint the very best upon your children– It’s our children who will change the world for the better some day!! Bless them. Hope to see you at the NFA Day walk at Cal State Fullerton– KatZen (my Band) will be the opening band for the candle lighting ceremony. I’d really love to meet you as your blog is unbelievably inspirational to sooooo many people. It helped inspire the Overcome CD. (www.katzenmusic.com/overcome)
You are so very kind and I look forward to reading your comments when I hit “post”. :) It means a lot that you take the time to leave your words of appreciation and knowledge.
I REALLY wish I was going to the NFA day at CSF, but I can’t make it down south this time. I am so envious, it looks like it’s going to be a really wonderful day!! Can’t wait to hear how it goes!
Thanks again Tamara for sharing with me, good to know we are in this together… hugs!
Please email me so that I can gift you my CD’s!!!
I’ll miss not seeing you at Cal State Fullerton!
i love your blog! i just returned to work after a two week vacation and walked back into stress. i, too quickly, fell right back into my pattern of building up anger at work and then coming home and venting to ric about it. what you said is soooo true….we have to just let it go. holding on to the anger doesn’t do anything for us. either change the situation/ fix the problem or let it go. i was about to call you for some of your great advice, after reading your post i feel all better. love you!
What can I say?? You know you just made me cry, love you too!