It is Saturday morning, 6:30am and I am sitting here wide awake. Ask me why… c’mon, ask. Come onnnnn…. Okay fine! Because it’s Saturday and I can actually sleep in (well not really, my daughter has a soccer game and I would have to get up in a bit anyway, but that’s not the point!). The point is, it’s Saturday and I don’t have to get up at this time and it’s like flipping backwards day as usual in my life and I am awake for no reason when I should be asleep and here I am wide awake! Whew! That was a long sentence! It is not as if I got enough sleep so I woke up feeling…. and I hate this word now –> REFRESHED (Wait a minute, I honestly have tried to take that word out of my vocab… so rewind, erase and replace hate with strongly dislike). How many fibromites actually feel “refreshed” when they wake up? (could you actually feel me doing the quote/unquote really strongly with my fingers that time? because I was, well as strong as these grip-less hands would let me). I mean, that is just not something I have felt in years. I wake up feeling like …. hmmmm … not sure I have thought about this … I wake up and think about how I slept, what hurts and will I be able to walk when I get out of bed and then I try and figure out what day it is. Now as my daughter says, “sharing is caring” so when y’all read that one, laugh with me, not at me… because, for example, today I woke up and really thought it was Thursday for some reason. I was pretty happy it was Saturday once I figured it out. Still laughing at me, I mean, with me? That’s alright, that’s why you visited my blog today, some pain relief. :)
So back to my point, most days I wake up feeling tired, half of those days along with tired foggy decides to join the party and maybe 15% of those days depression decides to crash the party and bring everyone down. So refreshed never really happens. I wonder what that’s like. You know when you are watching t.v. and that commercial comes on with the chick in her all white pajamas changing the all white sheets, and the light shining through the wall of glass behind her and she just looks all clean and refreshed? She is the anti-me. I ha… oh wait, really dislike her.
It’s really not all bad, it’s my reality. I’m just saying it’s Saturday and “hellllllooooooooo”, just thought I might sleep in today, but apparently I needed to get up and greet the world. Okay… seriously, I am smiling… I really am. I just realized it. I am crackin’ myself up as I write this… I have to take my own advice, right? Don’t take life too seriously… and THAT my friends is why I am up early. I needed to wake up and get an early start so I could smile and hopefully make you smile. If I didn’t get up early enough I would not have been able to write this before getting out of the house for my daughter’s game. That’s the start of my day… smiling. Awesome!
Hope you enjoyed my post. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you start your day with a smile!
Stay cool!
my foggy brain 
Girl–
My husband’s so mad at me that my house is quickly becoming like the “Buried Alive” Hoarder’s houses on TV. And, what’s the sickest part is that I’m AWARE that he’s aware and I’m even more ANGRY at my own inability to organize everything than he is…
But I’m JUST TOO TIRED…
Tired, tired, tired… exhausted and in shear pain. How is it that I’m completely medicated— just one of my dosages of pain meds would put THE ROCK into a coma– and yet they barely touch my pain?? It just doesn’t make sense out of the “Fibro World of ‘Opposites are True for Us’ ”
I just went to a great new rheumatologist last week who ran a new battery of tests on me, and we’ve found out that I have yet another— what it is we know not, of course— autoimmune disease. Perfect. Another gift, another life journey to begin on, as if I don’t have enough on my plate to begin with, LOL!!!
But The deal is to keep the mind positive, I believe. It’s not a bad thing, it’s an experience and I truly believe that God or the Universe or whatever you call your higher power will never give you more than you can handle. This is key. Even if you are totally overwhelmed. Believe in this fact and you can make it through. Listen to my song, “Try” the ending lyrics are about this… (plus it’s a beautiful ballad… :} ) Positive affirmations actually change the chemistry of the brain. The more positive energy you generate the more you receive.
So we try and we try to make it through, cause that’s all, cause that’s that we can do, and we try and we try and that’s good enough, and we try and we try and we don’t give up!!”
Thank you for charging forward and leading the fight against Chronic pain. Thanks also for being an educator, working to eradicate the stigmas against Fibro and chronic pain. I adore your blogs!!! 000 no x’s because they may hurt! LOL!!
I just wanted to let you know, for anyone of your readers that may be attending the Nat’l Fibro Association’s National Fibromyalgia Day Walk of Fame Festivities next week, Sat May 15th at Cal State Fullerton, that KatZen will have a listening booth where they will be giving away water and goodies and meet and greets with the band, plus showcasing organic skin products and cute T-shirts and KatZen Albums…
KatZen, who released the CD Bundle, Overcome (available on itunes and amazon.com) that beautifully explores the triumph over chronic pain and fibro, will be Playing at 5:00 on the Main Outside Stage, followed by lead singer, Tamara Cimmerian’s rendition of the American anthem, then the Walk of Fame will begin at 5:30.
Tamara Cimmerian will join Tony Terry, hit R&B artist from the 80′s on backing Vocals, who will be serenading the crowd at the candle lit vigil at 7:00, following a 6:00 dinner.
During the day there will be many booths and classes regarding chronic pain and fibromyalgia. Entrance is FREE! Please come!! We’d love to meet any/ all of you!!Check http://www.katzenmusic.com for details!!
LOL – Thanks for the giggle, I needed it.
I also “strongly dislike” the word refreshed. I slept a solid 10 hours this morning, plus had an hour and a half nap when I got home from work last nite, and all I wanted to do was go back to bed. (Instead, I went to work with a migraine, and ended up staying an hour and forty-five minutes over because the boss asked me to take care of something for him and I couldn’t do it til after I closed. I finally called hubby to pick me up a little after 11pm.)
I have NO idea how I’d manage if I had kids to deal with too. I so admire women who manage to deal with kids and extracurricular activities on top of the fibro.
I cannot remember waking up and smiling! Much less “refreshed”! I, too, begin the day taking inventory:
What day is it?
Actually first its, “Is it day or night?”
Am I suppose to be somewhere right now?
What time is it? Am I suppose to be somewhere right now?
Is it time for medicine?
Did I take my medicine?
Okay, it is morning.
Still not 100% sure what day it is. But, it is morning.
Now, can I get up? Within the foreseeable future?
I am up. I took my medicine. I ate.
I need to lie down for just a minute.
Later,
me
CJ, in time
Hope you were victorious in soccer!
Don’t even get me started on the “Fibro” commercials!!!!
and the commercials with the sparkling clean houses!! there are sooo many things that deserve a piece of the bit of energy i have more than dusting or vacuuming! yet it annoys me to be reminded of how clean our house ‘should’ be! also, with kids’ sports sometimes saturday can be the hardest day of the week! loved your post!
Oh yes… the sports, this past week-end I had soccer Saturday and Sunday and just walking to the field I thought I was going to cry it was so far. By the time I actually got to the field it took me about 15 minutes to get my body to calm down before I could enjoy the game…. I just ha… LOVE my body!! I have to keep reminding myself WHY I am doing things so I don’t lose sight of the big picture. Otherwise I can walk around complaining all day… but those soccer fields can seem like a mile away when I am going from the car to the field!!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving me comments, I totally agree… we just have to remember to get some “me” time in with all the other “stuff”!
hugs!
Amen to everything you wrote!I hate it when I misplace days…I hate it that I can’t sleep in and I hate it that I don’t ever wake up feeling like a million dollars.
The commercial I hate are the ones for Lyrica where they all look so happy and perky and wonderful. Why don’t they show her crawling out of bed crying??
By the way, I love your sweetie……yes they do make us smile and they are WONDERFUL!!
Amen Rosemary! Thanks for stopping by! :)