Hi everyone… my husband asked me if he could guest blog tonight. It came as quite a surprise as he’s been in the bed for the last few days. I would have thought the last thing he would want to do is be a guest on my blog. I share this with all of you and hope you have as wonderful a husband as I do! Please share this with your family and post your comments, we’d love to hear from you. – Tamiko
Dear Wife and Fibromites,
Thank you for letting me guest blog! So here I am, sitting in this empty bedroom, on my third day of pain. I have a pinched nerve that’s radiating down my neck to my back down my arm. I went to urgent care Wednesday morning in the most excruciating pain I have ever been in, (in my life). Once I got home, I barely made it up the stairs, then to top it off, I sat on the side of the bed in the most debilitating pain while I waited 2-2.5 hours for the Naproxen and Hydrocodone to kick in. Longest 2.5 hours ever! Now understand, I have a high tolerance for pain (so I thought) you see I’ve broken bones, torn cartilage, I even once played soccer for 2 weeks with an unknown broken foot!
So with that said, I thought I had a high tolerance. This pain was unfamiliar to my body, but very familiar to my brain. Hmm, where have I seen this familiarity? That’s right my wife! There have been many times when my wife could not make it up the stairs, could not move a muscle in her body without a grimace, and many times NOTHING would help. Holy shit, I am getting a “taste” of what she goes through as well as anyone else with that shitty ailment Fibromyalgia. Upset stomach because of the meds I HAVE to take in order for the pain to subside, have not eaten in 3 days, super sensitive to smell, constipation and nausea (TMI), but a big part of how I’m feeling. I have been waking up at night every 2 hours, awake for 1 hour, then sleep again for 2 hours. Just sickening! And the kicker is, I see zero light at the end of the tunnel. I am a walking zombie in pain right about now.
So back to my wonderful wife… all I can say is if you have a wife, spouse, partner, friend or family member with any type of chronic pain, I just realized you might never ever understand how or what they feel. And yes, this could be a boneheaded statement, because if your loved one tells you how they feel, you theoretically should understand. But you won’t, take it from me it’s been many years for me being on the non-pain side. But this little touch of pain I am experiencing right about now is letting me know what it really feels like (only if it’s just a few days) I actually feel like the idiot, selfish, self-centered husband, who supports my his wife, but was not really “getting it”. I have been in pain for 3 straight days (laughable to her 10 years) But I do understand just that much more. I always tell her how “I wish I could just take some of her pain away and have it go into me” I am re-thinking that right about now. This pain shit is no joke! My sensitivity level has just risen, my advocacy level has just risen, and my awareness level has just risen. I will listen more and I will help more, I will cook better foods for her, I will read more and I will educate myself more.
In summary, first off I can’t blog anywhere near how my wife can blog, but I thought I would just guest blog and share my great and terrible experience. Basically you think you know, but you don’t know. It is humbling and revealing all at the same time. If you are like me and have a wife in this life battle, hopefully you can just take a little from this blog even if it’s just to open your eyes that much more. So what needs to happen at this point is us non-fibromites need to stick together as well. We are the support system!
Thanks for listening.
Ray Arbuckle (husband and advocate of Tamiko Arbuckle)
- The Progress We Have All Made… Fibromites Unite! (myfoggybrain.wordpress.com)