fibromite

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Day 27: 5 Challenges & 5 Small Victories…

Today’s Prompt: 5 Challenges & 5 Small Victories. Make a list of the 5 most difficult parts of your health focus. Make another top 5 list for the little, good things (small victories) that keep you going.

  1. Foggy Brain

  2. Depression

  3. Digestion

  4. Exhaustion

  5. Attitude

You’ll notice pain is not in my list of 5 challenges. I can deal with the pain, it’s all the stuff that comes with it that makes my life hell. Pain doesn’t feel good, it’s not a friend. But… it’s physical. I can work with it most of the time. What is difficult are all the side effects that come along for the ride. I think my list is pretty self explanatory. I’m sure those of you with chronic pain can relate.

Never good to dwell on the negative. So, let’s focus on the positive. What are my 5 most recent victories?

  1. Writing this blog. This is a huge victory. I’m on day 27 and I haven’t missed a day yet. How awesome is that?
  2. Digging into my digestive issues. Tests, tests and more tests. I haven’t given up, although extremely frustrated, I’m determined to keep going until I finally get some answers. My victory here is eliminating all the things I could have had!
  3. Accepting that my pain is at a point where I need to make a change. I’m making a change. Today.
  4. I made dinner… yes, it was only one time. This is a pretty big deal in my house for me and I did it, giving me a tad bit more confidence for the next time.
  5. I started making 1001 cranes… and I have an idea for the design.

Well, here’s to five more victories next week! Have a great week-end and remember no matter how bad things seem, you deserve a pat on the back for your victories big or small.

Stay cool!

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Day 26: Health tagline… Invisible Illness… Visible Me.

Today’s Prompt: Health tagline. Give yourself, your blog, your condition, or some aspect of your health a tagline. Make sure it’s catchy!

my foggy brain

invisible illness… visible me.

My life with Fibromyalgia, Depression and ADD.

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Day 25: 3rd Person Post… My challenging conversation with… my brain

Me: So… I am participating in this writing challenge for 30 days about my health. Today’s prompt is to write a third person post about a memory I have had. I find this interesting since you can never remember anything.

Brain: Really? You are going to put all that on me?

Me: Of course I am. You are responsible for remembering everything, aren’t you? Aren’t you the smart one? So far, just trying to remember a conversation to write about today is not really working out. What can you recall from one conversation you have had in the last 24 hours that would be interesting enough to share?

Brain: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… welllllllll… thinking…..

Me: This is me waiting.

Me: and waiting.

Me: and waiting.

Me: and losing patience. I can’t wait all day, I only have today to write this post.

Brain: Give me a break! I work hard all day for you at your job and now you want me to keep working? When do I get to rest?

Me: You get to rest when it’s time to go to sleep. That’s when you are supposed to shut down.

Brain: That’s not fair! When you lay your head down to sleep, that’s when I go into action thinking about all the things that we need to do tomorrow and all the things we didn’t get done today. When else can I just sit back and do that? Other times of the day you have me working for your job or in conversation or doing whatever you need, always at your beck and call.

Me: Unfair? Seriously. If you don’t relax when the rest of my body is relaxing, it doesn’t work. My pain will never go away. I need to turn all the dials down. You really need to work with me here.

Brain: I’ll think about it.

Me: And you got me off topic. We are supposed to be remembering a conversation to share.

Brain: Wait, what? I forgot.

Me: … and that right there is exactly why you have been named “Foggy Brain”!

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Day 24: Health Mascot…

Today’s Prompt: Health Mascot. Give yourself, your condition, or your health focus a mascot. Is it a real person? Fictional? Mythical being? Describe them. Bonus points if you provide a visual!

My health mascot is definitely my Tani girl. She represents everything that makes me smile. She is happy whatever we do and wherever we go… especially the beach (which is also my favorite place!). Whenever I’m down she snuggles up next to me. When I’m cold she keeps me warm. She always seems to know when I need her most.

She loves the beach as much as I do.

She’s too cool for words… even in her shades!

She brings holiday cheer to everyone… putting up with the costumes I put on her.

It doesn’t matter what the situation is… she brings me joy. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

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Day 23: breathe in… “let”… breathe out… “go”… (again)

Well, it’s my 23rd day of writing… I am so proud to have made it this far in the challenge! It’s a lot of writing and for those of you that are following me… a lot of reading. I really appreciate all the wonderful support during this month. Thank you!

I am really tired today and I have started and stopped this post SIX times… I am a little frustrated to say the least. Instead of forcing myself to write something that I don’t feel is worthwhile, I thought I would share a post from when I first started blogging. Hopefully this will make you laugh as much as I did when I experienced this!

Enjoy!

breathe in… “let”… breathe out… “go”…

originally posted November, 2009

Warning: I strayed from the regularly scheduled blogging and went with a more childish topic… I couldn’t resist…

So… I went to my Restorative Yoga class tonight, as I do every Thursday evening. Yet somehow tonight was going to be different.

I went to class and met up with my friend, there was only the two of us tonight. Usually there are three of us. Was this why things were different? As we enter into the yoga room. Very quiet, serene, candles lit… the lights are dimmed and I feel relaxed the moment I enter the room. I love this place. I look forward to it every week. It’s the one place I go to that I know my body will actually cooperate. I love this hour of relief that I get from my fibromyalgia. I go to my spot and put my mat down and apologize for dropping it just a bit too loudly on the ground. I whisper as I talk to my friend. It’s really warm in the room tonight. Is this what is different? No… wait, there are two men in this class. That’s different.

As I start to put my second mat down on the ground, I hear from behind me, the man laying on his mat let one loose… I mean he seriously RIPS ONE. wow. THIS is what is different.

I just keep talking to my friend like nothing happened. I’m going to give that man a one time gas pass. The class has not started yet. We are all warming up and hey… stuff happens! I’m going to let that slide. We all have our slip ups… you know, we’ve all slipped up.

The instructor comes in and we start warming up. For the next 10-15 minutes we stretch and do the normal breathing exercises to prepare for the restorative poses. I am relaxed and focusing on my breathing. The gas man is no longer on the brain.

Instructor: “Let’s get ready for our first pose.”

We all take our mats towards the walls and I get in the first pose. I am so ready to meditate.

Instructor: “I want you to just relax and let all the…….”

Gas Man strikes again… PFFFFFFFFFGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!The Gas We Pass

and again… PFFFFFGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

and again… PFFGGGGHHHH!!!!!

and again PFFFFFFFFFFGGGGHHHHFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!

Instructor: “… stress of the week leave your mind… as you breathe in say “LET” and as you breathe out say “GO” …. “L…E….T………………G….O…..””

Seriously. SERIOUSLY??  Did he just say that? I mean I know he says that every week, but couldn’t he have come up with some new material JUST FOR TONIGHT? I was no longer relaxed. I was dying inside. I knew if I even whispered a laugh I was going to lose it. I would not be able to stop laughing. I would have to leave my favorite yoga place and never return. I would die of embarrassment for laughing like a 6-yr old at the gas man.

I couldn’t look at my friend, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t think about what happened. Here I was in my yoga class… NOT relaxing. I started to count… I started to think about funerals, arguments I’ve had, anything that would NOT make me laugh. I had another 45 minutes of class… this was going to be a long class…. this was a challenge. Thank goodness my other friend didn’t come, there is absolutely no way she would have been able to make it through that moment. That would have been  my last yoga class.

Needless to say… I did make it through and the rest of the class was quiet, thank goodness!

Well, it could have been worse. I could have been the one with gas!

Thanks for reading! Stay cool.

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Day 22: The Things We Forget…

I am participating in the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. (Please visit WEGO Health’s blog and the WEGO Facebook page to find other writers tackling the same topics—or sign up for the challenge yourself!)

Today’s prompt: The Things We Forget. Visit http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/ and make your own version of a short memo reminder. Where would you post it?

There are so many reminders I could list, I just picked those that I always need in bright neon lights in front of me wherever I go… flashing… oh, but only during the waking hours (Lordy, I have enough issues sleeping without adding flashing neon signs!).

I know it’s crazy, but breathing is not always so easy. I find myself holding my breath all the time. Throughout the day I often have to remind myself to breathe. I take that moment to not only stop holding my breath, but also take some deep relaxing breaths.

When it comes to focus… I am so easily distracted. During my work day, I must tell myself to focus at least a few times in an hour. Frustrating! Which leads me to…

Or… mind your own beeswax. Stay on point. Don’t let shit get to you. Think before you speak. Walk away. There are so many ways to say this. Basically there is only so much energy for the stuff I need to focus on. Let all the other shit go.

Relaxing doesn’t come easy to me. I have to constantly tell myself to clear my mind, don’t let thoughts enter my mind and just be still. Doesn’t work a lot, but I try.

A really important reminder for me is to keep perspective. Don’t blow stuff out of proportion. Keep what’s important… top of mind and a priority. Life so often gets in the way until either a flare or shocking news. It’s easy to forget how important my relationship with God is, quality family time, my health… you get what I’m saying. If I have to sit in a wheelchair to go to the zoo with my family… the important point is that I’m at the zoo with my family!

As I begin this new week, I will think about these reminders and do my best to make this a good week. I hope you do as well!