April 14, 2012 by MyFoggyBrain

Day 14: My Dream Day…

If you could have the perfect day, what would it look like? My dream day… hmmmmm, well let me start from the beginning.

Imagine waking up after sleeping for 8 hours… 8 straight hours of the most comfortable sleep you could possibly imagine. When I wake up I am refreshed, I grab my book off my nightstand and read for an hour before everyone is up. I get out of bed and realize I am feeling really good and go downstairs. My husband and I make breakfast and the whole family sits at the table to share our first meal of the day.

After the kitchen is all cleaned up, I go upstairs and take a relaxing shower and get ready to go out. I feel energized after taking my shower and I’m ready for the day.

We all pile in the car and we go for a drive to anywhere. I am relaxed and the conversation is fun and the car is full of laughter and happiness. Wherever we end up and whatever we do, this day is full of love, laughter and joy. At the end of the day, I get in bed and smile. I say my prayers and thank God for this perfect day.

I don’t need or want anything extravagant, I just want to be with my family and for us to all have fun and laugh and play, have great food and enjoy being with each other.

What does your perfect day look like? Is it attainable?

I wish that you all your perfect dream day soon!

Tamiko

April 10, 2012 by MyFoggyBrain

Day 10: Dear 16-year old me…

Hey girl,

You have experienced a lot in your first 16 years. I am writing this letter to you to share with you how I am feeling about where you are in your life and I also want to spread a little knowledge from my life experiences. Knowing you, it will take some time to digest any advice to determine whether or not it’s worth your while to pay attention to it. I understand, all I ask is that you read this letter through to the end and keep an open mind.

First, let me tell you how I see you as a person, and honestly, how I believe the world sees you. It’s important, for me, that you hear this from me as one of my hopes for you is that you never question these things. I get that, at your age, it’s difficult to deal with all the pressures socially, educationally and emotionally. Just know that you are loved, most importantly.

You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
You are strong… you are so strong. Don’t let this strength get in the way. Don’t confuse strength with pride. Strength will hold you up (with God’s help) in difficult and challenging times. Pride will pull you down if you let it get in the way. It’s okay to be wrong, and it’s even better if you can admit it (out loud).
You are giving and loyal. These are awesome attributes and will bring wonderful people into your life. Save that loyalty for those that treat you with the respect and love that you deserve.
You are smart. You are smart. I’ll say it again… You. Are. Smart. Give yourself a break. You do not have to know everything. It’s okay to ask for help, it will make your life easier if you learn how to ask for help now vs. when you are older. People want to help you, you just have to let them in.
Spontaneity is a wonderful thing… keep it up!
You are intuitive, use that to help yourself and others. Use that when making choices that may change the course of your life… those choices that will make an impact in just one moment.

Below are some of the things, looking back in my life that I’ve learned, that I hope will help you grow as a person…

Your life is precious and it’s a gift. It can be taken away at any moment. Push all the negative people, images, stuff away and close the door on it. No need to let that back in your life. If someone or something is not bringing joy or uplifting your spirit or teaching you something that will make you a better person… remove them or it from your life. It may not be easy, but you will feel better without that negativity.
Give people a chance. They will make mistakes and there will be times when you will get hurt, but your true friends will always be there for and with you through thick and thin. It’s not the quantity of friends in your life, it’s definitely the quality. I truly believe less is more when it comes to friends. Invest your time in friendships that don’t involve manipulation, lies, judgement, insecurity…
Take the time to enjoy life. If you are always worrying or wishing for what you want to happen next, you are not able to enjoy what you have now… and I believe you are blessed. You have a lot to be thankful for.
There’s a time and a place for everything in your life. There’s a time to work, a time to learn, a time to play, a time to rest… keep a balance so at the end of each day, you feel good about yourself.
Watch the world around you and take the good from what you see. Leave judgement to God. Everybody is human, makes mistakes, has a bad day… or just maybe needs a friend to uplift them. You can do that, do your best to uplift others, not judge, criticize, embarrass… Treat every person you meet with respect and dignity.
Love yourself and others will love you. Treat yourself kind.

The reason why you feel down and you have a difficult time in school is not because you are crazy or because you are stupid or because you can’t hack it… you have Depression and ADD. It’s not the end of the world, you can manage your mental health so that you can be successful. Educate yourself.

You only get one life, make wise choices so you will live a long, healthy, happy and content life. Your friendships and relationships with family will support you through the good and the difficult. I hope and pray you will marry a man who you will be happy with every day. Someone who you can share anything and everything with and build a forever live with.

I have learned many lessons the hard way. The most difficult has been believing my body would always be there, no matter how I treated it. This, I can tell you, is not true. I am a middle-aged woman with the body of a 90-year old. I have Fibromyalgia now and I believe one of the main reasons is because I didn’t keep a balance in my younger years. I worked and worked and worked until my body said “NO MORE!”. What I worked and worked for, at the end of the day, was not worth what I am dealing with now. I could have spent more time with my family, I could have spent more time reading a book and relaxing, I could have traveled more… there’s so many “I could have’s”. I hope you take this to heart and make different choices in your life.

Most important… have faith. With God on your side, you can do no better!

God Bless you.

GUEST BLOG: Dear Wife and Fibromites… a letter from my husband (myfoggybrain.wordpress.com)

January 28, 2012 by MyFoggyBrain

Track Your Progress: Fibro Journal Template

I have been meaning to post up another one of my fibro journal templates. I hope that you are tracking your progress, we all have bad days, but it’s the good days we want to remember. If we can’t remember (Lord knows remembering is not my best skill!), it’s always useful to be able to review where we’ve been, what didn’t work and most importantly… what did work! I know most days we are all just trying to make it through, I believe journaling helps us stop and take a moment for some “me” time. Time that helps us review the day and realize “hey! my day was pretty good!”.

Try it out and please let me know what you think.

Have a most marvelous day (as one of my closest friends always says to me)! Relax and take some time to journal.

Keep on reading.

Tamiko

This is a preview of this template, you can download either or my templates in my Awesome Resources page.

September 3, 2010 by MyFoggyBrain

Integral Tai Chi is My New Depression/ Fibromyalgia Pain Drug of Choice!

“My body is healthy… My body is healthy… My body is healthy… My body is healthy…” I am chanting this in my head while next to me a lady is not so quietly snoring… interestingly it does not bother me, although there are moments when I want to laugh (but cross my heart…. I don’t). While I chant this over and over in my head, I scan my body for pain and if I find any, I mentally push it out of my body. You are wondering what I am talking about… I get it, I would be wondering too.

This is the relaxation segment of my Integral Tai Chi class. It is the last 30 minutes of the 2-hour class I have been taking… my new favorite depression/ pain drug of choice. As I am laying in the dark on my mat in the “corpse” position and the instructor has directed us to relax every part of our body and told us when we awaken our bodies will be healthy. It becomes my chant while I lie there for the next ten minutes. I feel like this class has changed my life. Sounds pretty crazy, right? Well, take me seriously and find a class and give it a try. Here’s the class description:

Integral Tai Chi is a self-healing system that integrates tai chi, yoga, relaxation and meditation to heal the mind, body and spirit. This comprehensive approach involves a series of 10 body movement postures each designed to increase balance, awareness, endurance, flexibility, flow, concentration, energy and spiritual transformation. Integral Tai Chi can be easily learned and practiced by all ages and body types.

I have been able to do things that have caught me completely by surprise… okay, for example… remember in Karate Kid that crane move that all your friends growing up have done and said “I’m the Karate Kid!!”…. I CAN DO THAT!!! SHUT UP!! I CAN!!! Unbelievable… I can actually balance on one foot!! I almost fainted with surprise the first time I did it… I started to giggle. I really did. No one can even understand the gravity of the situation. balancing on one foot, WHILE lifting my arms UP IN THE AIR like that is just CRAZY!! LOL!! For all you modern folk that do not remember Karate Kid (the original… God forbid…) it’s the Crane pose in Kung Fu Panda!

I can’t explain it, I don’t get it myself, but the stretches that are done… although they definitely are challenging for me, feel soooooo good! I feel really good both mentally and physically when I finish this class. I have felt like a totally different person the last three weeks. My husband tells me he is afraid to break the spell… he wishes I could take this class every day. I think that might be a bit much. :) I mean, what is the message he is sending to me?? LOL!

For me personally, I think I said it in a prior posting, the mental effect that this has had on me is so significant… the healing of the mind and spirit and the pure focus on positivity and exiting frustration, stress, negativity from the body/ mind… this is just what I need. I sleep better on the nights that I go… although this time, my beautiful dog decided to wake me up at 4:00 in the morning to go outside and I decided to write this blog posting instead of going back to bed. I also have been able to relax enough to read an actual book… this is amazing. I haven’t read a book from beginning to end in so long I can’t remember when. I have finished three books in the last two weeks. I usually start a book and then after the first couple pages or chapters, put it down and never pick it up again.

I know a lot of you are in pain. If you are in the bay area (San Francisco to San Jose on both sides of the bay), these classes are FREE, take advantage and give it a try… “listen to you body” and do what you can, but stay for the last 30 minutes. If you are not in the bay area, find a local class and it is very possible that you may have free classes as well. I understand this ITC organization is in Southern California offering free classes (this is a non-profit organization). This particular group is AWESOME! I think you can tell, I am pretty jazzed about this… just a little bit… :) I’ve been in pain a very long time… This is the first time I have found something that is FREE and works and not a drug! nice… it’s a blessing.

http://www.css-sanjose.org/eng/itc.html

30 minutes of warm up
60 minutes of 10 body movements
30 minutes of relaxation and meditation

I could barely walk when I went to the first class… I am walking significantly better… ask my dog! :)

Thanks for reading! Stay cool (literally! It’s been pretty hot out there!)

Hugs….

Tamiko

August 8, 2010 by MyFoggyBrain

Who is Your Lighthouse? Every Fibromite Needs At Least One…

sometimes life is not what it seems. these days, every day feels that way to me. i am not working right now due to my medical situation, my blogger friends will know without a doubt why… but i feel guilty. i can’t quite work out my emotions. this is not a vacation, this is not time to work, this is time to heal. wow. time to heal. i say it out loud and i still can’t believe it. if i do things that i believe are healing for me, i still don’t feel right. this is crazy. i am a grown adult. i am lost.

i can remember the moment the words came out of my mouth. “my doctor has taken me off work.” from that moment on, there was no turning back. i was both scared shitless and relieved at the same time. so many questions going through my head, i couldn’t turn the volume down.

would i be able to heal?
would i have a job to come back to?
what does this mean?
how is this going to effect my friends at work?
what will my children think of me?
can i make this change?
how will my husband handle yet another burden on his already heavy load?

question after question just kept coming up and before i could answer another question would come up… and then all the forever questions… oh shit what will i do if something happens to my husband? i can’t take care of myself, much less my children… why the hell did this happen to me? why now? why did my friend just pass away without giving me the chance to talk to him just one more time to hear his crazy ass laughter? why can’t i pick and choose when i want to be in pain? why can’t it be obvious that i have a medical condition so people will know i am not okay? (i mean… seriously, i much prefer to look anti-social at parties… that is so much better! [btw, i just told my daughter that sarcasm is bad] i always end up sitting in one place or better yet even… like today, having to take a nap because the pain was so bad… nice!) i know this is why many of my chronic pain friends do not go out, but that is not the solution. i want to go out and be with friends and family…

warning – i digress here….

i am watching my children, nieces, nephews, and their friends grow up and what a generation we have coming up around us! these. children. amaze. me. their determination, assertiveness, independence… they have it all. they have grown up with so much technology and knowledge compared to what we grew up with. they have access to so much more information at their fingertips… and they access it and use it with ease… we have raised some strong-minded youth. they know what they like, what they want and by the time they can vote … they will not hesitate to make their opinions known. it’s an interesting time. for me personally, sometimes i just want to scream, i get so frustrated trying to raise my children. they know what they want, have so much knowledge, i can’t battle them – don’t have the energy to fight them. most the time i just want to hold them so tight and not let go. i know they will leave me soon and i will only see them when they want to visit. my time with them will be solely on their terms. their time with me so far has been on my terms. the rest of their life will definitely be on their terms…. how did i get to this topic? hmmmmm…. just typing and this is what came off the top of my head.

and now back to my original post…

as you can see, i am having a very difficult time focusing in one area. i am struggling to wade through this quicksand of emotions. i am trying to journal again. i thought that it would help me “find myself” so to speak. so far not a word on paper in my new pretty journal. zip. nada. nothing. the big zero. “How to Find the Inner You”, “How to Redefine Your Life”, “Where are You?”, “The Map to the Real You”, “The True You”, “This is Your Real Life”, “Your Life Begins Now”, “Life After Chronic Pain”, “Redefining the New You”… etc. all titles of books that would really help me now… if they existed (and they probably do, i just don’t want to pay the price for them, i mean, after the title, what the hell do I want with them?) i have no patience to read a self-help book… i am just really trying to find a way to get myself to stop! write what i’m feeling down! and listen! and really… is this possible? i have journaled all my life, but for some reason, it really is asking a lot of me. you’ll just have to take my word on this one. (by the way, if you are thinking of writing a book and you were planning on using one of those titles above… ummmmm…. go for it. i’ll just take a one time cut. :) i know God has a path for me already written, i just need to stop! and listen! to Him. i never was very good at listening… my husband can definitely vouch for this. (oh man! did i really just put that in writing?)

so… why the lighthouse image for my blog this week? i’ll tell you why. two beautiful women celebrate their birthdays this week. i look to these women to provide safety in the dark for me and they have no idea how much they save me on a continual basis. one beautiful woman because she is and has been my best friend for the past 20+ years and has been there for me through thick and thin and even though i know i don’t call as much as i should… just knowing if i ever need anything i know she is there. she gave me the very very best gift of all, my beautiful goddaughter. i would never have made it to this point in my life, if not for her love and strength… i would not be who i am without her in my life. she taught me how to be a professional, how to know and appreciate God, how to be a parent, how to be a girly-girl and without her in my life i would not have been so honored and blessed to know and love her Mother (and yes that is with a capital “M”!)… it would take a lifetime to just say how much she has blessed my life.

the second beautiful woman because through the friendship of our children, i have been blessed with the friendship of this woman. she has given of her heart over and over and over again and always ever so quietly. there is no way i would have survived the last six years without her friendship. she has a calming effect on me the moment i know she is around. her thoughtfulness, sense of humor, no bullshit attitude is so awesome! i look forward to strengthening our friendship with each birthday we celebrate.

they are my lighthouse in the storm that can be my life. dependable, steady… always there. i celebrate them. i hope that all of you have a lighthouse in your life. there are definitely a few other folks who are in this category who i will celebrate in a later blog…

thank you for reading! stay cool… please let me know how you are doing, leave a comment and let me know what’s on your mind.

take care and here’s a gentle hug for all my chronic pain readers.

tamiko

PS. Thank you so much to everyone!! I just passed 3000 hits to my blog this past week… that is too amazing… THANK YOU!!!